It’s Your “Dash” that Matters

“What mattered most of all was the dash between the years.” Linda Ellis

Linda Ellis asks the question “how are you living your “dash”?” Envision a tombstone with the line that separates the date when you were born and the date when you died – this is “your dash”. Linda suggests in her famous poem “The Dash”, that this simple line represents one’s life. Unlike the birth or death dates, you as an individual, as a leader, can influence your “dash”.

Heart & Purpose

Tommy Spaulding in his book The Heart Led Leader challenges us to be “Who Leaders” rather than “What Leaders”. He says it’s Who you are that matters, not What you are.

Expanding on this, Spaulding shares that “it doesn’t matter what titles or awards you have accumulated or accomplishments you have achieved, success is about building hearts not resume’s. Success only fulfills us when we focus on our passions, when we care about others as much as we care about ourselves, when we lead with our hearts – because who you are matters. Live our lives as a true reflection of who we are.”

We’ve all seen plenty of What Leaders in our time. These are the folks who aren’t authentic, may have passion but it is about themselves. They are climbing the “corporate ladder” and letting everyone know about it. They are the ones with plaques and trophies displayed as a shrine to themselves, screaming of their accomplishments. When given the opportunity to learn about a team member, they jump to tell their own story. They are the ones who take on the personality and act as they think their boss wants, rather than leading with their heart.

In their book The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz talk about the power of one’s purpose. “Purpose creates a destination. It drives full engagement by prompting our desire to invest focused energy in a particular activity or goal. We become fully engaged only when we care deeply, when we feel that what we are doing really matters. Purpose is what lights us up, floats our boat, feeds our souls.”

Is there meaning in what you do each day? Have you discovered your life’s purpose? Do you make a positive impact for your family, your community, our nation, others? Do you make a positive impact for your customers, your organization, your team? This may all begin with a simple gesture of kindness.

Who Leaders

U.S. Army Lieutenant Dwight Bennett is a Who Leader. At the top of his game during his college years, achieving numerous awards, positions, and accolades, he was commissioned and began at the bottom of a global enterprise, the U.S. Army. His past didn’t matter now, he was beginning a new chapter in life with a clean slate.

Just as Dwight’s success was achieved in college, he entered the Army as a new Infantry lieutenant, leading with his heart. He put his soldiers and organization before himself. His focus was on improving those on his team (platoon), ensuring that his organization was mission ready, and then to regularly take time for self-development.

Bennett puts it best when he said, “I don’t try to be better than anyone else. As long as I can be better than I was yesterday, I am doing the right things”. “I learn from my failures every time. I keep those with me as lessons learned and I share those experiences with others. You can’t be afraid to not be perfect.”

Cheryl Bachelder, former CEO of Popeyes, had been a What leader with all the “right” credentials. “Her impressive resume was enough to prove this—she held management and executive leadership roles at RJR Nabisco, The Gillette Company, Procter & Gamble, Planters Lifesavers Company, Keebler Company, Domino’s, and KFC.

Yet, Bachelder admits she wasn’t living up to her full potential in these roles because she hadn’t yet applied a leadership style that amplified her impact.” It was when she became a servant leader, leading from her heart, she became a Who leader. She made greater impact and achieved significant success as shown by the growth of her customer base and expanded number of franchisees, as noted by her organization’s bottom-line, and as felt by her team.

It was at this time that Cheryl says she believed she was fulfilling her purpose. With a passion to develop great leaders, she says that “watching her former leaders at Popeyes accept important leadership roles across the industry makes her most joyful and proud.”

Antoinette Tuff had a difficult childhood, growing up with many challenges at home, in a poor neighborhood, with little hope of a life any different. But as she grew up, she made the best of her life, married, had children, and had a job that she enjoyed. She was kind, felt she contributed to her community, and would have been OK with this as her “dash”. Then things changed. She became severely depressed because her husband of 33 years had recently left. Now, as a single mom, she was faced with the daunting challenges of raising a son with multiple disabilities and a daughter in law school.

Then a turn occurred on August 19, 2013, while at her job as a school bookkeeper. An armed gunman entered the Ronal E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in the Atlanta area, where she was the first one the armed man addressed. Through her faith, calm and deliberate actions, and concern for the students and others at the school, as well as concern for this intruder, she changed the course of that day.

By engaging with the gunman, just as she routinely did with others, she defused the situation causing the gunman to surrender without firing a shot. She treated the gunman with dignity and respect, but also with accountability. She didn’t take on the situation with a feeling that it was all about her, but rather with concern for all the students and staff who were in danger. She saved more than 1000 lives through her actions. Today, with a clear focus to benefit others, she shares her story to help train those who may someday face a similar situation. She cared, she cares, she’s making an impact.

As a Leader, How Are You Living Your “Dash”?

Spaulding challenges us to become “heart led leaders”. Loehr and Schwartz guide us to learn our life’s purpose. Ellis spurs us to reflect upon “how we spend our dash.”

No matter the life we are born into, we all can make choices. We can sustain those aspects of our lives that we feel are good, right, and align with our purpose. And we can work to change those things that we feel aren’t steering us on our desired trajectory. These are our choices, but they require that we take action to sustain or change.

The question we must ask ourselves regularly as leaders is the one posed in “The Dash” – “…So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?”

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